Phallic Symbols for the 21st Century

The 63 Building in Seoul is a monstrosity. A gold monstrosity. Fortunately, though, you can't see that it's gold after the sun goes down. There's are two elevators that run on the outside of the building from the first to the 6oth floor, though unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of those. However, here are some pictures of the building itself and from the Skydeck at the top.


In this one, you can see another well-known phallic symbol, Namsan Tower. Very much like a Korean Space Needle, I plan to mount it in a week or two and take some pictures from its probably-overpriced observation platform. Hopefully I'll have better weather.




The residents of Seoul have a very large, very pretty river. It's a good thing they decided to put a highway on either side.

When the Boat's a Rockin...

On Saturday evening, we went to Yeoido and went on a leisure cruise. What, you don't cruise for business? Anyway, despite the unpleasantness that is the monsoon season and the less than perfect weather that comes with it, the cruise was a great time. Ideally, as we took the 7:30 ride, we would have seen the sun setting over the metropolitan skyline and the Han River, but it was was overcast at first and dark toward the end, so we'll have to take it again in better conditions.

After making our way to the financial district (name?) which is on an island in the Han, we found the docks and bought our tickets. Looming behind us was the 63 Building, which is the tallest building in Seoul with, you guessed it, 63 floors, 3 of which are underground, which also means that the elevator only goes to 60. What a ripoff.


The water was calm, but the light was not right for taking pictures with a little point-and-shoot camera, so the pictures are few. Before you leave the dock, you have to write your name and phone number on your ticket stub. You then give the ticket stub to the cruise attendant. You must do this in case the boat sinks and they have to call your relatives to come identify your putrid corpse.

"Hello mistal. Corey is palent. You son on Han boat sinked. Come see Korea: Spaakling. You like kimchi?"



The following is a picture of the boat I plan to ride next time, I don't care how much it costs. I'm going to get drunk like a pirate and pillage until the Koreans run in fear, but that shouldn't take much. (Click on it for more detail)


Koreans are suckers for photo ops and backgrounds. Everywhere you go, even if you go to see a beautiful sight, there are pictures of that sight for you to pose in front of. Apparently, the cruise we went on was a couples cruise (or just a cruise that couples enjoy), and of course there was something to pose in front of. It was a giant heart made from rope lights. We took the obligatory pictures.


So, after volunteering to take pictures of a bunch of drunk Korean couples, a man approached us and gave us a brief history lesson of the bridge we were traveling under at that moment. It was dark, so I don't have a picture of it, but during the Korean war, the Americans bombed the hell out of the bridge so that people couldn't cross from southern Seoul into northern Seoul. By the way, the city is divided right through the middle, so this could be a problem. The bombing also killed a bunch of people. Way to make me feel bad about being American AGAIN. Thanks Korea.

After the boat ride, we went to the 63 Building, and paid $7.00 each to take the elevator to the Skydeck (floor 60). There's a cute little bar and lots of funny Korea-couples sitting in front of the windows with their arms around each other. Pictures and video (!) to come in the next post.

I Live Here!

As I told my last girlfriend: It's bigger than it looks. Honestly, it's not a bad apartment and it's way better than some of the others I've seen here. There's a fantastic view in all directions and I'm very luck to have gotten a queen-size bed, which, for your information, is where the magic happens.

I seem to have lost the picture of my itty bitty kitchen, but I'll post it when I find it. Needless to say, I have a two-burner stove, a slightly smaller than full size refrigerator, and about one cubic foot of counter space, which is usually filled with a toaster and an empty soju bottle or two. When I'm done with the toaster, I tend to put it back in the cupboard, but I've been lazy. So don't pick on me, or I'll stab you with my one very dull kitchen knife.

One of these days, I'll try to take some pictures of my friends' apartments for comparison purposes, but I'm not sure they'll let me out of jealousy and pure rage. Also, life will get better here once I get my hands on some curtains so that the lights from below cease to enter my dwelling space once and for all. Also, I will post some pictures of the roof garden, perhaps with pictures of me relaxing therein. That is, if the fates conspire in your favor. Also, peep the mountains in the background. Jealous much?




I know, I live in a cubicle, but the pictures really don't do it justice. I think it's about 12' by 25'.

Partners in Crime

Friday night was a proper night out. A trip to Dublin, a westerner bar in Seoyeon, was drama-free and hopefully indicative of what is to come.

Welcome to My Neighborhood!

Here are some pictures of my neighborhood: Sunae, in Bundang.


This one is looking to the right from my apartment window.


This one is looking to the left from my apartment window. The large beige building is Lotte Department Store.

Even though I live in a suburb of Seoul, you can see how highly developed the area is. Everyone here lives in apartments, so most of the tall buildings in the background of the pictures are apartment buildings and in this area, most are very posh and insanely expensive. I will post some more pictures of my neighborhood shortly.

Working Again

For all of those who picked on me for not working for the past few months, blow me. I started teaching on Monday afternoon. I got thrown straight into class (though with some help), and taught six classes in a row. I have some cool kids who are energetic and smart, and I have some lousy kids who don't talk, don't answer (even when I call on them), and just sit there and stare at me for 45 minutes until the bell rings and it's time to go.

Even though I don't get off of work until 9:00 pm, it doesn't seem to matter in this city because nothing in Pundang ever closes and people here seem to stay up very, very late.

Also, today is Memorial Day so I didn't have to go to work. Some people from school went out last night and got nice and sloshed sitting in front of the Family Mart. They sell bacon flavored chips that look like bacon, and these chips go very, very well with Super Forties (1.8 litres). Oh! the things that 2 of those will do to a man.

Pics to be posted soon!

Welcome to Seoul!

After 20 miserable hours on a plane, countless bad meals, and rude flight attendents, I have arrived in Seoul! I got picked up at the airport by my recruiter and driven to my hotel. I will not have my apartment until tonight, so until then, I'm walking around in Korea like a bag lady, but a bag lady with 125lbs of bags.

As I do, I walked out of the hotel this morning and immediately found an ATM, a PC bang, and most importantly, a Starbucks. And you know what? I am jetlagged to high hell so I pad $3.56 for a grande coffee and thought nothing of it.

I'll have some pictures for y'all very soon.

PSA: On My Merry Way!

Alrighty! My car is sold, my bags are packed, my visa is in the mail from the consulate in Chicago, IL, and my ticket is purchased! I depart from Cleveland, OH, on Wednesday, 30 May 2007, and arrive in Seoul, ROK, on Friday, 1 June 2007. I'm seriously looking forward to 19 hours (layovers not included) in a big metal tube coursing through the heavens, but anything to leave Cleveland.


Look for regular updates to this blog as hopefully I will actually have some information to share and some wisdom to impart. I plan to post a lot of pictures of the city, the people, and the food. (Aside: Why is it that all Korea bloggers are obsessed with food?)

Again, to those interested, you've got a place to crash on the other side of the planet.

Preventing Buyers' Remorse

I find this hard to believe: Apparently, the government of ROK wants to check the validity of all keyword ads to be placed on the Korean side of the tubenet. Specific search engines are not mentioned in the article by the Korea Times, but surely Goooooogle must be one. I'm all for checking the pr0n-free-ness and violence-free-ness of publicly placed advertisements, but I somehow doubt that anyone wants to do this, especially a for-profit company.

The government says that it wants to make the portals themselves responsible for checking the 18,500 ads per month that would be covered by the regulation. The Korea Internet Safety Commission would take part in the process, though their function is not specified and no methods for the process have yet been revealed.

Personally, I enjoy trying to shoot ducks at the top of my screen to get that free iPod.

From the Korea Times

'Nuf Said

Via Gizmodo

Does it do Korean?

Check out this awesome, expensive translatin' device. Looking very much like a Palm Pilot on the juice, the VoxTech Phraselator V2 can translate what you say into almost any widely spoken language and translate the reply back for you!

Developed for the military, it's freakin' awesome! "Excuse me, driver, please make haste to the liquor store!"

Via Gizmodo.

On Obsolete Languages

Michael Erard, a designer not a linguist, commented on When Languages Die, a book by well-known linguistic anthropologist K. David Harrison. Harrison laments the death of languages due to the specific knowledge lost in the process, from specifics about dates, agriculture, and familial relationships, to the grammatical features of these languages, which are often unique.

Back when I took sociolinguistics in college, we discussed the extinction of languages, and supposedly within the next century, half of the languages now spoken will be forgotten if undocumented. Now, I'm all for the recording of these languages, but languages are constantly evolving, and, much like the evolution of humans caused the extinction of other related bipedal species (neanderthals), a "stronger" language is going to overtake weaker languages, eventually rendering it obsolete.

Strong languages such as English, Mandarin, Spanish, etc., are always going to overtake the hundreds of weaker languages. Economics play a factor, as do subjects of cultural relevance in areas like religion and politics, but so do the abilities of a language to evolve to keep pace with the objects encountered in contemporary developed society. Borrowing dilutes a language's purest form (e.g., Russian), but language maintenance is important to relevance. As an example, French has a group of scholars that are responsible for updating the language to keep pace with technology and other developments, rather than just borrowing a word from another language such as English. This group of scholars is ineffective, but their efforts are often overlooked. It is because of them that the French language, despite the dwindling number of native speakers in comparison with several other languages, has maintained its place as one of the most spoken languages in the world.

In conclusion, maintain languages or record them and let them go. We don't use DOS anymore, but we still use information we gathered from it.

From Design Observer, via Wired.

You Can't Make Me Do It!

While reading some older posts over at the Lost Nomad, I came across this post via the JoongAng Daily. It turns out that if your boss forces you to go out after work, a very common occurrence in many Asian cultures (specifically Japan and the ROK), you can sue him/her/it and make approximately $32,342.

Also, not mentioned by the Nomad, the young lady also filed suit against her boss for sexual harassment for touching her and making inappropriate remarks. She won this suit as well.

Douchebag got fired and fined two g's. Makes working for me sound like an appealing proposition. Send your resumes, favorite cocktails, and bust sizes to ROK & Hard Place.

Books via Mobile Phone!

We all know that Corey loves him some books. Good news for Corey! SK Telecom, the largest provider of mobile communication services in South Korea, has expanded its TouchBook service, which previously only allowed users to look up information such as authors, publishing dates, and other information. But wait! Now, SKT customers will be able to scan the bar codes on books at physical bookstores and purchase them online for less through SKT's mobile Web browser.

Easy books delivered to your doorstep for less. What's not to like?

Via the Korea Herald.

Drinking on the Job

Koesan County, in a misguided attempt to increase its communication with its citizenry, ended up awarding three alcoholics on an all-expenses-paid vacation to Cheju Island.

Somehow, I don't think that canceling the reward program will keep the county's employees from engaging in a little public relations after work.



Link (Yahoo!): South Korea County Cans Award for Drinking Workers

Avoiding Prison in Korea

Poor Cullen Thomas, he could have used this page from the Oxford Picture Dictionary when he was going to court. Click on the image to enlarge it and learn the Hangul for getting yourself an attorney, understanding your rights, pleading guilty, being found guilty, going to jail, eating crappy prison kimchi, and finally being released seven years later (which is, coincidentally, the amount of time that Cullen Thomas was supposed to get). And remember, it doesn't matter how you plead in Korea, the conviction rate is close to 100%. Good luck, suckers.

We Came, We Drank, We Drank Some More!

Dear Friends, Readers, and Enigmatic Strangers,

A sincere thanks to all of you who came out and helped me celebrate my impending departure. I admit, I was most thoroughly sauced (lesson learned: Don't buy Corey tequila), but for those whose presence I realized, I appreciate your willing attendance and lack of dramatic interaction. I had a wonderful time and appreciate the joyous off-sending. I will post some pictures in the next couple of days and I look forward to sharing my journeys with you.

Again, don't hesitate to keep in touch or to impose yourself on me should you find yourself in my soon-to-be-new neck of the proverbial woods. The majority of you are possibly always maybe welcome.

Cheers,

Corey

Redacted

Due to popular demand and my willingness to protect the not-so-innocent, the video previously posted in this space was temporarily pulled down for editing and will be replaced shortly.

In the meantime, this will have to suffice. Enjoy

Cost of Living Rising

In addition to yesterday's post regarding the cost of living in Korea, today the Korea Times published an anonymous op-ed simply titled "Korea-US Price Gap." The article, lacking decent sources as usual, is copied below. Again, I plead with you, Korea Times, quit with the flash-based Website so I can just link you.

The major problem mentioned in the article states that, though prices in Korea are 95% of what they are in the US, the per capita income is only $18,000, "less than half of Americans' average income." Real estate aside, the Korean people don't live as Americans live, thus making the comparison of costs-of-living somewhat misleading.

In Moscow, a city which is becoming known for ridiculously overpriced everything, the average salary for a police officer or school teacher is bafflingly low (exactly what the salaries are, I can't recall), yet these people aren't starving to death. They're living like Russians, not Americans. And Koreans are going to live like Koreans, not Americans.

Luxury, often associated with American and other Western goods, trends, and fashions, is expensive everywhere, even here.

From the Korea Times:
...
South Korea is on the threshold of being on par with the United States and other advanced countries in terms of consumer prices. This means that Koreans' purchasing power is growing weaker than that of their American counterparts in the wake of steep price hikes over the past several years.

The nation's consumer prices reached 95 percent of those of the U.S. last December. In other words, South Koreans pay $95 to buy a product here that is sold for $100 in America. This betrays a general belief that consumers can get products, especially manufactured goods, at much lower prices in Korea than in the U.S. Regrettably, that is not the case. South Korea is no longer a cheap country to live in.

The price gap between the two countries has rapidly narrowed since 2001 when Korea's price level was estimated at 63 percent of the U.S. average, the National Statistical Office (NSO) reported Sunday citing data from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD). The comparable figure stood at 68 in 2002, 70 in 2003, 84 in 2004 and 86 in 2005.

Considering that South Koreans' per capita income is currently about $18,000 which is less than the half of Americans' average income, the narrowing price gap is bad news. What's worrisome is that Korea might soon catch up with U.S. prices if the trend continues.
...
However, the main culprit of the price hike is skyrocketing home prices amid rampant property speculation. It is not surprising that Seoul has emerged as the third most expensive city in the world when it comes to housing for salaried workers. A recent survey by a multinational real estate agency revealed that Seoul recorded the average housing price of 18.35 million won per pyong (3.3 square meters) of floor space, following Moscow with 20.04 million won and Paris with 30.61 million won. In fact, Seoulites live in a place whose living cost is much higher than Tokyo and New York. ...

Get Drunk with Corey!

Bored?

Live near Cleveland?

Sad that I'm leaving?

I'll bet you are. That's why I'm hosting an I-can't-believe-he's-leaving party. So join me and my associates Friday, 4 May, at B-Sides Liquor Lounge in Cleveland Heights, round about 9:00 pm, and let's get ridiculous! Call or e-mail for more details.

Save Money, Go Native!

The Korea Times headline today, "Rising Living Costs Keep Foreigners Away," speaks mostly about business investment and business travelers, but general day-to-day living expenses in Seoul are among the highest in the world, especially for foreigners. Wikipedia's Most Expensive Cities for Expatriate Employees list (data from Mercer Human Resources) is helmed by Moscow, up from fourth place in 2005, followed closely by Seoul, up from fifth in the same year. I can testify that Moscow is an expensive place to live; I have paid $12 for a cappuccino and $24 for a cheeseburger. The problems with these lists is that they only take into account a fixed set of expenses, things that are imported or considered a luxury when purchased outside of Western countries. Of course that venti organic soy vanilla chai latte from Starbucks is going to be expensive in Moscow or Seoul, it's freaking expensive in Cleveland (110th on the list)!

My advice, and general observation, is that one should do as the locals do; they actually know how to survive in their cities. Give up the burgers, steaks, and lattes, forgo the imported clothing and American beer, and for Christ's sake, quite freakin' driving (you could use the exercise anyway, fatboy)! Go native, it's more fun anyway. And finally, the less you have them, the better the treats from home become!

(Update: The Economist Intelligence Unit has a similar survey from 2006 which lists, in order from most to least expensive, Oslo, Tokyo, Osaka, Reykjavik, and Paris. Seoul doesn't even make their top ten. However, the same observations/tips hold true, no matter where one resides.)

More on Korean Pr0n

I'm starting to feel bad for one half of Korean teenagers. Which half do you feel bad for?

From the Korea Times:

One of two South Korean teenagers has ever received adult spam messages through their cellular phones, according to a domestic civic group Tuesday.
The Green Consumers Network conducted a survey of 538 middle- and high-school students in Seoul and found that 46.2 percent of them had been plagued by obscene cell phone messages.


I feel bad for the half that don't have any pr0nographic experience. Some people should get together and send them an international care package of magazines and DVDs. I volunteer to send a copy of the DaVinci Load.

If you want a link, tell the KT not to run parts of their site in flash.

Half of Teenagers Have Watched Pr0n

Really? According to a survey by the Korean Health Teachers Association for Healthy Society and the Korean Teachers and Education Workers' Union, KOREAN KIDS ARE NORMAL! Westerners, do you remember how hard it was to get pr0n before the age of the Internets? God bless broadband. (Bonus: they should have considered the pr0n inherent to Asian animation; the number would be upwards of 99%.)



From the Korea Times:

About half of elementary, middle and high school students have looked at pr0nography, while some 3 percent of them have had sex, according to a recent survey. Most of the sexual experiences took place at their homes or friends' homes. A survey conducted by the Korean Health Teachers Association for Healthy Society and the Korean Teachers and Education Workers' Union showed 47.1 percent of students have seen pr0n photos or video footage.

Link: Half of Teenagers Have Watched Pr0n

Dear ROK:

Please send me my visa now, I'm ready to go. Seriously, I've made my packing list, I'm planning my going-away party, and I'm learning Korean. Let's do this.

I Pity Da Fool

All Korea-philes know the story of Cullen Thomas, the English teacher who got himself three and a half years in a ROK prison for shipping himself some hash. Well, Cullen wrote a book, Brother One Cell, and on 19 March 2007 was interviewed (audio, link is halfway down on the right) by Diane Rehm of NPR. Not the best interview in the world, but interesting nevertheless.

He talks mostly about getting arrested and why he did what he did. Personally, I would have liked to hear a little bit more about his time in prison. I know how to get in trouble, I just want to know why I shouldn't.